Prewdas

This is an excerpt from the king's scribe's library.

Backstory
In the past 3 years, the king's land had been plagued by a yellow fluffy scourge, leaving many a shopkeeps upset. They'd wake up in the morning and find one or many of their prized possessions gone without a trace. Though eye-witnesses had reported a fluffy creature fleeing the scene, the royal guard was stumped. The method the thief used was precise. Often the only evidence that someone had visited was a small parchment with a crude drawing of a fox with giant ears, and an expertly drawn and stylized letter 'P'. The townsfolk were upset, and rightfully so. But alas, there was nothing the guard could do.

The King's Jewel Heist
The king slept in the highest chamber of the big stone castle. Two guards were always stationed outside while the king slept. The battlements outside were connected to the tower, and would always be meticulously guarded by routine patrols. You would be a fool if you said the king was not well guarded, but the thief was a crafty one.

Using a rope and expert timing, Prewdas managed to climb upon the battlements, leaving him below the tower. Hanging in the cold breeze off the edge of the thick stone wall, Prewdas waited until a gap in the patrol. Prewdas swiftly slipped up on the edge, taking off his hood, letting his hair flow in the wind as he looked upon the tall tower. In a display of extreme acrobatic skills, the yellow fluffball rapidly ascended the tower and just about managed to slip inside the king's window before the guard returned. He was inside.

There was only one problem: Prewdas didn't actually know where the jewels were kept. Sneaking silently and slowly across the floor not to wake the king, the thief started searching the most obvious places. In the chest near the foot of the bed he found only clothing. Searching the drawers and wardrobes left him empty handed as well. He thought to himself as he turned towards the window: "What if the rumors aren't true, maybe the king doesn't keep the jewels in here? Maybe he's got someone else so hold his jewels for him?" Preparing to make an escape, his eye caught a glimpse of something in the king's bed.

The king had a reputation for being very closely bonded to his jewelry. Two of which being the twin golden eggs of the hanging gardens. A pair of finely crafted golden engraved spheres that could be filled and used as receptacles for smaller gemstones. It was given to the dynasty by the late emperor K'Jav as a gift back when the two kingdoms became one. This was however not his most priced possession. The item the king valued most was his royal scepter, and he was well known for walking around with it out in broad daylight. The scepter was large and made of gold. It was an item he received when he was born. He would never let it out of sight and during the drudgery of his daily council meetings he'd often be seen tapping and rubbing it idly to pass time.

The fennec, ready to give up, suddenly spotted the king's scepter peeking out from underneath the sheets. This was what he had come for, and he'd be damned if he didn't get his hands on it. Taking care not to wake the king, Prewdas slipped near the foot of the bed and poked his head under the sheets. He noticed the eggs and stopped for a moment to ponder. Fiddling with the eggs for a second to see how the mechanism worked, his thoughts drifted towards the contract. The lizard who hired him only wanted the scepter, but at the same time the urge to grab the big yellow orbs was exhilarating, they were surely worth a fortune. Shaking those thoughts from as he realized the situation he was in, the thief instead reached out and grabbed a hold of the king's scepter. This is what he had come for and nothing else wasn't worth the risk. As he pulled at the scepter he suddenly realized that the king was still holding a firm grip of it, even in his sleep. The fennec started pulling harder, making the king let out a moan in his sleep, grasping the rod tighter. Prewdas, refusing to leave without what he had come for, started to tug harder. Suddenly the king twitched and hastily sat up in his bed, violently pulled from his blissful sleep.

With a firm grip on the scepter, and in a dizzy state of having his sleep disturbed, the king tossed the covers aside. Upon seeing the intruder, the king, a big lion of a man roared. The fennec gasped and froze in fear at the same time as the lion lost his grip of the scepter, making it flop out of the king's hand and straight into the fennec's mouth. Suddenly the doors to the chamber flew open with a loud bang and two big armed guards stormed into the room. The king quickly picked up the orbs, pulling them to his stomach to guard them, but realized too late the mechanism was unlocked, spilling their content.

On the king's bed sat the king, legs spread with his scepter in the fennec's mouth. The content of the king's orbs were spraying out in front of him, coating the fennec's face with a mist of white sparkling gemstones. Before Prewdas could react, he found himself pinned to the floor, quickly handcuffed and thrown into a jail cell.

The Punishment
A few days following the failed heist, Prewdas was up for trial, standing in front of the king and the council to decide. Prewdas vehemently refused to speak to the king or council but the witnesses left little doubt. The sentence for attempting to steal the king's jewels was decided: Death by beheading.

As the guards came to pull the thief out of the hall, the king suddenly spoke up: "As high king I use my executive right to decide over the fate of this... thief." The guards stopped and turned towards the king, who continued as he smirked: "If the thief wants the scepter then so be it. Have this rascal bound and delivered to my chamber tonight. I will personally take care of the matter and you will never be bothered by him again."

What happened after that is only rumors. But reports said to come from one of the guards standing watch that night is that Prewdas was brought up to the king's chamber at night. Shortly after which screams and yelps were supposedly heard. One of the chambermaids reported that it was strange that the king asked for a jug of oil to be delivered to his chamber with his evening meal that night. What actually happened, we may never know, but after that night rumors began spreading like wildfire among the commoners. Nobody has seen Pewdas since then. Even now, almost a year later bards still sing the ballad of Prewdas:

♫ ♪ ♫

This is the ballad of Prewdas

A thief who would always elude us

He'd rob the king with sass

But his actions were crass

--

They were gonna take off his head

But decided that he'd instead

bend over the kings bed

And now his butt is Red

♫ ♪ ♫